Yesterday was therapy session nr.2. Well, formally it was the first one, since the last time it was mostly an introductory session.
We did a fun game of personal space where we stood across the room from each other and she took steps towards me, after each step asking me if I was ok. I stopped her after 3 steps, and then she marked my space with a piece of rope. We played a little with how I felt if I was close to the edge, or when she was close to it. Then we settled at a distance, me inside the space and she outside. She made a point of telling me that she would never ever cross the line.
I came up with Ronia the robber's daughter metaphor for my alienation from the world. And I cried a lot.
I don't like it that I cry so much in the first sessions, always. I can't really help it and maybe it tells something to the therapist, but still.
We didn't talk about anxiety, but I think it will take some practice for me to tell her what I need to get out. I mean I expected that, it took me a while for it to happen with the previous therapist and I knew I wouldn't be able to do it right away from the first time.
She made a nice observation that I'm still pondering about. I was talking about how I try to keep my emotions down, and she said, "Could it be that those emotions are like a link, a bridge to other people?" and I was, "Oh! Hmmm..."
Anyway, there were a few bad points. First, she was late, but she apologised profusely, explained and promised it will never happen again (and I was late too anyway). Then her phone rang, but she shut it right off (bonus points to her). And lastly, a woman came into the room to tell her about the key and interrputed us badly (but she couldn't have foreseen it and she said she will hang a do not disturb sign on the door).
Also, she didn't have any handkerchiefs - but neither did I, I didn't expect to cry so much...
So we'll see how it goes, although I don't have a bad feeling, yet. She made mistakes, but I think she was sorry and will try correcting them. She's really not pushy. And we had a laughing moment while standing on the edge of my space.
Today I have a session with my previous therapist and I need to tell her I will stop coming, oh my, wonder how I'll pull THAT off...
We did a fun game of personal space where we stood across the room from each other and she took steps towards me, after each step asking me if I was ok. I stopped her after 3 steps, and then she marked my space with a piece of rope. We played a little with how I felt if I was close to the edge, or when she was close to it. Then we settled at a distance, me inside the space and she outside. She made a point of telling me that she would never ever cross the line.
I came up with Ronia the robber's daughter metaphor for my alienation from the world. And I cried a lot.
I don't like it that I cry so much in the first sessions, always. I can't really help it and maybe it tells something to the therapist, but still.
We didn't talk about anxiety, but I think it will take some practice for me to tell her what I need to get out. I mean I expected that, it took me a while for it to happen with the previous therapist and I knew I wouldn't be able to do it right away from the first time.
She made a nice observation that I'm still pondering about. I was talking about how I try to keep my emotions down, and she said, "Could it be that those emotions are like a link, a bridge to other people?" and I was, "Oh! Hmmm..."
Anyway, there were a few bad points. First, she was late, but she apologised profusely, explained and promised it will never happen again (and I was late too anyway). Then her phone rang, but she shut it right off (bonus points to her). And lastly, a woman came into the room to tell her about the key and interrputed us badly (but she couldn't have foreseen it and she said she will hang a do not disturb sign on the door).
Also, she didn't have any handkerchiefs - but neither did I, I didn't expect to cry so much...
So we'll see how it goes, although I don't have a bad feeling, yet. She made mistakes, but I think she was sorry and will try correcting them. She's really not pushy. And we had a laughing moment while standing on the edge of my space.
Today I have a session with my previous therapist and I need to tell her I will stop coming, oh my, wonder how I'll pull THAT off...
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