Yesterday I went to an agility competition.
Considering everything, it didn't go that bad.
Things didn't go exactly as planned - the week was long and difficult and I was really tired on Friday, so I planned to have Saturday off to prepare properly for the competition.
But then I got a call from a friend, with whom I spent the best week this past summer, asking me to go to the beach, so I went... and that wasn't such a brilliant idea. It meant I had to cut down the time for lunch at my parents' (adding anxiety), then on the beach she got stung but some strange worm (seriously!) and I scraped myself on underwater rocks (more anxiety), I got home only at 7 PM and had to run to the store to buy supplies for the competition and for breakfast, and I also wanted to find the cold pressed oils for my skin and maca powder.
I was too tired to carry it out properly, and I couldn't find the right maca powder, in the end I spent a whole hour in the stores, coming home later then I meant and going to sleep only around 10.30 PM, so even more anxiety.
And I had to get up at 3.30 AM, so I had planned to prepare everything in advance, so in the morning I could get up, grab the stuff and go.
It didn't go all by the plan, but I managed everything. And I managed to get some good sleep in the car.
And in the end, I had enough focus to finally run a clean run! I was most happy about that.
But then, anxiety rose and second run wasn't ok. Later I realized I had the most anxiety-inducing lunch, a huge hot-dog with french fries, lots of salt and starch and additives. But they didn't have any vegetables or fruit, at least I couldn't find them (everything was in German). The sun was hot and strong and I got a slight sunburn, and also didn't have enough to drink, so I got a bit dehydrated.
And so the second run was as bad as usual and I got upset, angry and sad. And started to blame the dog again, a bit, and also being really angry with myself, how things never change... I was really tired, and cranky, and a little snappy...
But, on the whole - I did manage a clean run, a first in two years; I did manage to get my breakfast cereal and fruit along; I did manage to sleep in the car, and I did manage to keep the anxiety maybe a tad lower than usual - or maybe at least, I manage to stay aware for longer than usual.
So maybe it wasn't all that bad.
And I know what to improve the next time, at least food wise...
Considering everything, it didn't go that bad.
Things didn't go exactly as planned - the week was long and difficult and I was really tired on Friday, so I planned to have Saturday off to prepare properly for the competition.
But then I got a call from a friend, with whom I spent the best week this past summer, asking me to go to the beach, so I went... and that wasn't such a brilliant idea. It meant I had to cut down the time for lunch at my parents' (adding anxiety), then on the beach she got stung but some strange worm (seriously!) and I scraped myself on underwater rocks (more anxiety), I got home only at 7 PM and had to run to the store to buy supplies for the competition and for breakfast, and I also wanted to find the cold pressed oils for my skin and maca powder.
I was too tired to carry it out properly, and I couldn't find the right maca powder, in the end I spent a whole hour in the stores, coming home later then I meant and going to sleep only around 10.30 PM, so even more anxiety.
And I had to get up at 3.30 AM, so I had planned to prepare everything in advance, so in the morning I could get up, grab the stuff and go.
It didn't go all by the plan, but I managed everything. And I managed to get some good sleep in the car.
And in the end, I had enough focus to finally run a clean run! I was most happy about that.
But then, anxiety rose and second run wasn't ok. Later I realized I had the most anxiety-inducing lunch, a huge hot-dog with french fries, lots of salt and starch and additives. But they didn't have any vegetables or fruit, at least I couldn't find them (everything was in German). The sun was hot and strong and I got a slight sunburn, and also didn't have enough to drink, so I got a bit dehydrated.
And so the second run was as bad as usual and I got upset, angry and sad. And started to blame the dog again, a bit, and also being really angry with myself, how things never change... I was really tired, and cranky, and a little snappy...
But, on the whole - I did manage a clean run, a first in two years; I did manage to get my breakfast cereal and fruit along; I did manage to sleep in the car, and I did manage to keep the anxiety maybe a tad lower than usual - or maybe at least, I manage to stay aware for longer than usual.
So maybe it wasn't all that bad.
And I know what to improve the next time, at least food wise...
No comments:
Post a Comment