And my mood is infinitely better. Things are not ok yet, far from it. But I simply can't feel bad in the weather we're having. So I'm gonna enjoy it while it lasts (no more than a few weeks, I presume).
Things we learned this winter:
- my mood disorder is definitely sunlight related, as much as I hate to admit it
- so winter really isn't my season, and I'm not very much of use November through February
- I need to adapt to that fact and try to take necessary precautions and measures to help things run along as smoothly as possible, given the circumstances
- I need to organize in such a way that most of important activities in my life are done spring to autumn (like moving, changing jobs etc.) - winter is supposed to be for slumber
- I should save my vacation days and sick days for winter
- I should invest in a SAD light (I need to start saving for it, right after I save enough for the iRobot)
- long, slow walks in nature help; getting in tune with nature helps (slumbering when nature is in slumber, being active when nature is active)
- I enjoy taking long walks by the sea
- also, changes in season, especially rapid changes, are going to affect me, no matter how much medicated I am - that means end of February and some time in September (damn global warming and disappearing spring and autumn)
- but medication does seem to help me get better after that, quicker and also, at all
- a lot of what I thought I am is really just my depression; the few times I've been ok in the past months made me realize I'm actually a nice and good person; when I'm not, it's a red flag and it means I don't feel good
- my brain actually still works amazingly, I'm still really smart (who would have thought); when my brain shuts down is actually because of depression and/or anxiety, and it's another red flag
- one of my problems that hasn't been adressed yet is my constant anxiety, and that's not season related
- I put A LOT of pressure on me (and people around me), pressure to have things done RIGHT NOW and 100% good and accurate; I simply can't allow myself enough time to do things right (so it's not so much that I need to be perfect, as much as I need to be PERFECT RIGHT NOW)
- most of my problems with dogs arise from my anxiety and how I push others when I'm anxious, not from my lack of knowledge or incompetence
- also, goji berries protected me from getting a single cold/flu this winter.
And that is all.
Things we learned this winter:
- my mood disorder is definitely sunlight related, as much as I hate to admit it
- so winter really isn't my season, and I'm not very much of use November through February
- I need to adapt to that fact and try to take necessary precautions and measures to help things run along as smoothly as possible, given the circumstances
- I need to organize in such a way that most of important activities in my life are done spring to autumn (like moving, changing jobs etc.) - winter is supposed to be for slumber
- I should save my vacation days and sick days for winter
- I should invest in a SAD light (I need to start saving for it, right after I save enough for the iRobot)
- long, slow walks in nature help; getting in tune with nature helps (slumbering when nature is in slumber, being active when nature is active)
- I enjoy taking long walks by the sea
- also, changes in season, especially rapid changes, are going to affect me, no matter how much medicated I am - that means end of February and some time in September (damn global warming and disappearing spring and autumn)
- but medication does seem to help me get better after that, quicker and also, at all
- a lot of what I thought I am is really just my depression; the few times I've been ok in the past months made me realize I'm actually a nice and good person; when I'm not, it's a red flag and it means I don't feel good
- my brain actually still works amazingly, I'm still really smart (who would have thought); when my brain shuts down is actually because of depression and/or anxiety, and it's another red flag
- one of my problems that hasn't been adressed yet is my constant anxiety, and that's not season related
- I put A LOT of pressure on me (and people around me), pressure to have things done RIGHT NOW and 100% good and accurate; I simply can't allow myself enough time to do things right (so it's not so much that I need to be perfect, as much as I need to be PERFECT RIGHT NOW)
- most of my problems with dogs arise from my anxiety and how I push others when I'm anxious, not from my lack of knowledge or incompetence
- also, goji berries protected me from getting a single cold/flu this winter.
And that is all.
No comments:
Post a Comment